Overcoming Child Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse is any form of sexual violence, including rape, child molestation, incest, and similar forms of non-consensual sexual contact. 

Most sexual abuse experts agree sexual abuse is never only about sex.

Sexual abuse and sexual assault are umbrella terms used to refer to multiple crimes. These crimes include:

1. Rape: Forced sexual contact with someone who does not or cannot consent. Forcing sex upon someone who does not want it, who is intoxicated, or who is not legally old enough to give consent all count as rape. 

2. Child molestation: Child molestation is any sexual contact with a child. Many children who are molested are too young to know what is happening and may not fight back. Some abusers use the child's cooperation in these cases as "evidence" that no one was harmed. Examples of child molestation might include fondling or demanding sexual favours from a child.

3. Incest: Incest describes sexual contact between family members who are too closely related to marry. While the incestuous sexual activity may occur between consenting adults, this is not common. Most reported incest occurs as child abuse. 
Overcoming Child Sexual Abuse

4. Non-consensual sexual contact: This category includes any unwanted sexual touching, such as groping or pinching. Attempted rape can also fall into this category.
5. Non-contact sexual abuse: Not all sexual abuse fits neatly into common legal or psychological definitions. For instance, parents who have sex in front of their children or who make sexually inappropriate comments to their children are engaging in sexual abuse. 

Here Are Ways To Help Your Children To Overcome Child Sexual Abuse:

1. Teach your child body boundaries. Tell your child that no one should touch their private parts and that no one should ask them to touch somebody else’s private parts. Sexual abuse often begins with the perpetrator asking the child to touch them or someone else.

2. Talk about body parts early to your child. Name body parts and talk about them very early. Feeling comfortable using these words and knowing what they mean can help a child talk clearly if something inappropriate has happened.
Overcoming Child Sexual Abuse
3. Tell your child that no one should take pictures of their private parts. There is a whole sick world out there who love to take and trade pictures of naked children online and initiate them into satanism. This is an epidemic and it puts your child at risk.

4. Teach your child that some body parts are private. Tell your child that their private parts are called private because they are not for everyone to see. Explain that mommy and daddy can see them naked, but people outside of the home should only see them with their clothes on. Explain how their doctor can see them without their clothes because mommy and daddy are there with them and the doctor is checking their body.

5. Tell your children they will never be in trouble if they tell you a body secret. Sometimes children don't say anything because they thought they would get in trouble. This fear is often used by the perpetrator. Tell your child that no matter what happens, when they tell you anything about body safety or body secrets they will never get in trouble.

6. Tell your child that body secrets are not okay. Most perpetrators will tell the child to keep the abuse a secret. This can be done in a friendly way, such as, “I love playing with you, but if you tell anyone else what we played they won’t let me come over again.” Or it can be a threat: “This is our secret. 

If you tell anyone I will tell them it was your idea and you will get in big trouble!” Tell your kids that no matter what anyone tells them, body secrets are not okay and they should always tell you if someone tries to make them keep a body secret.

7. Teach your child how to get out of scary or uncomfortable situations. Some children are uncomfortable with telling people “no”— especially older peers or adults. Tell them that it’s okay to tell an adult they have to leave, if something that feels wrong is happening, and help give them words to get out of uncomfortable situations. Tell your child that if someone wants to see or touch private parts they can tell them that they need to leave.

8. Tell your child that these rules apply even with people they know and even with another child. This is an important point to discuss with your child. You can say something like, “Mommy and daddy might touch your private parts when we are cleaning you or if you need cream — but no one else should touch you there. Not friends, not aunts or uncles, not teachers or coaches. Even if you like them or think they are in charge, they should still not touch your private parts.”

9. Tell your child that a body touch might tickle or make them feel good. Let your child know that sometimes these touches do not hurt or make them feel bad. There are secret touches that can cause harm to them and destroy their lives.

10. Pray for your child regularly. Pray and cover your child in prayer before they sleep or before they leave for school or creche and tell them that daddy and mommy will always love them and protect them from any harm.

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